When Kids Talk Out and Show Disrespect: Teacher Strategies That Work
The primary focus of this podcast episode revolves around addressing the pervasive issue of student disrespect and disruptive behavior in the classroom. Mr. Funky Teacher, Nicholas Kleve, articulates a series of practical strategies that educators can employ to mitigate these challenges while maintaining a conducive learning environment. He emphasizes the importance of remaining calm in the face of disrespectful behavior, suggesting that a composed demeanor can defuse potentially volatile situations. Furthermore, he advocates for the necessity of clear expectations and structured routines, which are foundational in promoting respectful interactions among students. Through a combination of understanding student motivations and implementing effective management techniques, educators can foster a more respectful and engaged classroom atmosphere.
The complexities of managing classroom behavior are brought to the forefront in this illuminating episode, wherein Mr. Funky Teacher, Nicholas Kleve, addresses the pressing issues of student disrespect and the propensity for talking out. The discourse begins with an exploration of the myriad reasons behind such behaviors, ranging from the innate human need for attention to the influences of external stressors that students may carry into the classroom. Mr. Kleve astutely observes that understanding these underlying motivations is crucial for educators seeking to navigate the tumultuous waters of classroom management effectively. He posits that recognizing the broader context of a student's life can inform a more compassionate and effective approach to discipline.
Central to Mr. Kleve’s pedagogical philosophy is the advocacy for proactive strategies that teachers can employ to address disrespectful behaviors constructively. He underscores the importance of maintaining a calm demeanor, asserting that a teacher's reaction can significantly influence the trajectory of a student's behavior. By avoiding escalation and refraining from matching a student's disrespect with heightened emotions, teachers can reclaim authority and guide students towards more appropriate conduct. Additionally, Mr. Kleve emphasizes the necessity of clear expectations and consistent reinforcement of classroom rules, advocating for the establishment of routines that provide students with a sense of security and structure essential for their learning.
As the episode unfolds, the conversation shifts towards the critical role of relationship-building in education. Mr. Kleve articulates the belief that when students feel seen and valued, their inclination towards defiance diminishes. He encourages educators to engage in private dialogues with students rather than public reprimands, fostering a more supportive atmosphere that prioritizes understanding over punitive measures. This approach aligns with Mr. Kleve’s overarching message: that the ability to inspire greatness in students hinges on a teacher's capacity to respond to challenges with empathy and resilience. Thus, the episode serves as both a practical guide and an inspirational treatise for educators striving to cultivate a positive and respectful learning environment amidst the challenges they face.
Takeaways:
- Effective classroom management necessitates maintaining composure during instances of student disrespect.
- To address student behavior effectively, it is crucial to focus on the behavior rather than the individual.
- Establishing clear and consistent expectations provides a structured environment conducive to learning.
- Building strong relationships with students reduces instances of defiance and fosters a positive classroom atmosphere.
- Private conversations with students can be more effective than public reprimands in addressing inappropriate behavior.
- Documenting student behavior patterns enables educators to involve parents and support staff when necessary.
Links referenced in this episode:
Companies mentioned in this episode:
- Be a Funky Teacher
Transcript
Yeah, he's Mr. Funky.
Speaker A:He's Mr. Funky Teacher.
Speaker A:Mr. Funky Teacher inspires greatness.
Speaker A:Makes you feel good.
Speaker A:Like your favorite playlist.
Speaker A:Keeping that fresh and funky.
Speaker A:Yes, he does.
Speaker A:He got some funky cool ideas to share for all you teachers.
Speaker A:He can empower others, students and teachers.
Speaker A:It's all about hard work and creativity.
Speaker A:He brings out the kindness in everyone.
Speaker A:He's got the passion to teach you hear it when he speaks.
Speaker A:He knows how to build strong relationships.
Speaker A:If you're seeking the best bunkiest, he is it.
Speaker A:He will empower you to improve.
Speaker A:You'll be helping others and loving it too.
Speaker A:He's Mr. Funky Teacher.
Speaker A:Yeah, he's Mr. Funky Teacher.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker B:This is Mr. Funky Teacher with Be a Funky Teacher dot com.
Speaker B:I'm coming to you with another Be a Funky Teacher podcast.
Speaker B:Well, I am here to talk about classroom management tips.
Speaker B:That's right.
Speaker B:That's what we're focusing on, classroom management tips.
Speaker B:Handling disrespectful and talking out behavior.
Speaker B:That's what we're focusing on.
Speaker B:Handling disrespect and talking out in the classroom.
Speaker B:That's what I want to focus on here today.
Speaker B:But before we do that, let's talk about three things I'm thankful for.
Speaker B:The first thing is water.
Speaker B:Why?
Speaker B:Because staying hydrated, it just makes everything just a little bit better.
Speaker B:I encourage you all to stay hydrated.
Speaker B:Keep, keep that water flowing.
Speaker B:So important for us as educators to be hydrated.
Speaker B:Second thing, my wife's listening ear.
Speaker B:Now.
Speaker B:She's always there to hear me out after a long day, if it's been a long day or if it's been a long week and I just need to talk about it.
Speaker B:She's so good about sitting there listening this kind of hearing me out.
Speaker B:Sometimes we just need to talk if it's.
Speaker B:If.
Speaker B:If there's been a tough time or things haven't gone.
Speaker B:Gone great, or even if things have gone great, sometimes it's just you need someone to talk to.
Speaker B:And so I appreciate her listening ear.
Speaker B:The third thing, groceries, is full shelves.
Speaker B:They mean full bellies.
Speaker B:And I don't take that for granted.
Speaker B:I know I'm very privileged in that way where I don't have to worry about food disparities in my home, in my life.
Speaker B:I'm very lucky.
Speaker B:And I realize that not everyone is so lucky.
Speaker B:And that is a challenge not only for some adults out there, but for some of the students I have to work with, too, that I get to work with.
Speaker B:There are some of those students that deal with food disparities it's just kind of the reality that was a reality in my prior school district.
Speaker B:That's a reality in my current school district where there are some food disparities.
Speaker B:So I am thankful for groceries and not having that, but just have enough, have enough food that I, I don't take that for granted.
Speaker B:All right, so my next focus is the meat and potatoes of this podcast.
Speaker B:Let's talk about talking out.
Speaker B:Let's talk about disrespectful behavior.
Speaker B:So let's look at.
Speaker B:First, we gotta kind of name the reality that every teacher deals with tough behaviors.
Speaker B:It could be things like talking out, could be side comments, could be just outright disrespect.
Speaker B:That, that's just our current reality of what we have to deal with as educators.
Speaker B:Now, why might kids act out?
Speaker B:That's.
Speaker B:See, that's the thing is when I have students in my classroom acting out and I'm trying to work through, think through, like, hey, how can I, how can I figure this out and help a child or help get a child where that child is not acting out?
Speaker B:So it's not a distraction.
Speaker B:I think about why a child might be acting out or being disrespectful.
Speaker B:Now, there could be multiple reasons.
Speaker B:It could just be that that child is seeking attention.
Speaker B:Positive attention, negative attention, just attention.
Speaker B:Attention for a child or for a human being.
Speaker B:Attention, a lot of times is better than no attention.
Speaker B:That's just the fact of the matter is that attention is better than no attention, whether it be positive or negative.
Speaker B:And so it.
Speaker B:You're going to have some, some kids who act out because of that.
Speaker B:Another thing is that kids are going to test boundaries, especially early in the year, especially if you're new to a building or if you're new to a district.
Speaker B:They're going to test boundaries.
Speaker B:They're going to push and see what they can get away with and if they're held accountable or not.
Speaker B:And so they are going to test boundaries.
Speaker B:And that's something that I encourage all new teachers, all new teachers to a new district or school to be aware that there are some going to be some boundaries that are going to be pushed and tested, especially early in the year if you have not established yourself or as you're establishing rules and procedures, because those individuals there are those individuals being certain students are going to test to see what they can get away with.
Speaker B:There are also aspects to consider, like students who are carrying certain levels of stress or trauma or emotions from outside to school.
Speaker B:My mom had a, had something.
Speaker B:She said to me Quite often she would remind me that you don't always know what's going on in another person's life.
Speaker B:She would remind me of that when dealing with some sort of like if I was not getting along with someone or having a conflict with someone, she would remind me, you don't always know what's going on in another person's life, but try.
Speaker B:She would.
Speaker B:I think she told me that to kind of reframe my thinking and maybe not excuse certain actions by other people, but to have empathy and understanding when it comes to interacting with others.
Speaker B:And so when I think about students, we'll have students who are.
Speaker B:There are certain students that will be dealing with stress, trauma and those emotions from outside school that have nothing to do with us as educators.
Speaker B:But it spills over into the classroom.
Speaker B:And we know as we learn more and more about mental health and take that into consideration, we know that we have to have that understanding that outside of school, stress, trauma and emotions will spill into the classroom.
Speaker B:And a lot of times it looks like kids acting out.
Speaker B:And it's so important for us to have that understanding, be compassionate in our understanding and then in our approach.
Speaker B:And you have some kids who are just have immaturity.
Speaker B:Let's be real.
Speaker B:There are some kids that are just immature.
Speaker B:It's it.
Speaker B:So there's multiple variables.
Speaker B:But to think about, there's multiple things to consider.
Speaker B:Why is a child acting out?
Speaker B:Why is a child demonstrating a certain action or behavior in a classroom?
Speaker B:So those are.
Speaker B:Those are some things to think about.
Speaker B:So what are my go to strategies for dealing with tough behaviors?
Speaker B:I tell you, the biggest thing that I cannot stress enough is to stay calm.
Speaker B:Don't match a child's volume, like how loud that child's talking.
Speaker B:Or don't match the disrespect where a child's disrespectful or.
Speaker B:Or your disrespectful back.
Speaker B:No, don't do that.
Speaker B:Do not sit there and get all riled up with a child.
Speaker B:Because that's what a child wants.
Speaker B:A child wants you to get upset, wants you to lose your cool.
Speaker B:Once you lose your cool, the child wins, you lose, they win.
Speaker B:I'm gonna say, I'm just thinking about the next one here.
Speaker B:Address the behavior, not the child.
Speaker B:It's really easy to address a child by his or her behavior.
Speaker B:It can be even how we phrase things for a student.
Speaker B:Saying to a student, you're being disrespectful.
Speaker B:That's addressing the child versus something like talking while others are talking.
Speaker B:Makes it hard for us to learn, makes it hard for us to learn when there's talking.
Speaker B:So it can get into little things like how we phrase things to kids.
Speaker B:Whenever I'm talking to kids, especially if I'm talking one on one to a child, I try to remind that child that, hey, I think you're a neat kid, and I think you're a new neat kid.
Speaker B:And I try to separate them from their behavior because, you know, maybe they're struggling.
Speaker B:If they're coming with, with some trauma, they might be struggling.
Speaker B:That child might be struggling to behave and doesn't know why acting out is happening.
Speaker B:Sincerely, it seems like, oh, just fix it.
Speaker B:But trauma doesn't always work that way.
Speaker B:We could have a whole episode about trauma and how it impacts the brain and the child, but it doesn't always work.
Speaker B:So in such a linear, simple way when you're dealing with trauma.
Speaker B:So big thing there is address the behavior, not the child.
Speaker B:Keep it focused on the child.
Speaker B:The next thing is to set clear, consistent expectations.
Speaker B:Students thrive, unstructure.
Speaker B:They do.
Speaker B:It might not seem like it always, but they do.
Speaker B:And if the class is chaotic and there's not structure, students are more likely to have behavior issues to fall apart, and the room's more likely to fall apart.
Speaker B:And that's just some stuff that can happen where the room's falling apart.
Speaker B:We have to have structure set up.
Speaker B:We have to have clear, safe expectations.
Speaker B:Practice those expectations, review those expectations.
Speaker B:If students are getting them wrong, you go back and you address them again until students get them to where, where you have a kind of a solid procedures that are happening in your room.
Speaker B:It takes time.
Speaker B:And this is the thing that I find that sometimes new teachers and even veteran teachers who are eager to get into the content they lose on is they.
Speaker B:They just assume that kids know what they know and they skip over the routines and procedures and systems of the classroom.
Speaker B:Systems, Procedures and routines.
Speaker B:Those are.
Speaker B:That's a biggie, right?
Speaker B:But you could skip over those and then, and then all of a sudden you have your class falling apart and a teacher doesn't know why.
Speaker B:Well, you didn't spend enough time on systems, procedures and routines.
Speaker B:Or we're not going back and reviewing them when we need to.
Speaker B:I don't care if kids are liking it or not.
Speaker B:I mean, your classroom is your kingdom and your kingdom.
Speaker B:If you expect kids to act a certain way, to show a certain level of respect, to come and handle their business, then you have to got to teach it and you got to practice it, and you Got to go back, go through it, if that's what you expect.
Speaker B:Now another thing is to have private conversations over public showdowns.
Speaker B:If you're having a public showdown where a kid's melting down in the classroom or showing disrespectful behavior or inappropriate behavior almost on display for the class and you're handling it, one of the big things is a private conversation with that child to redirect in the moment or you got to redirect in the moment, right.
Speaker B:But when you kind of get into the really get into it with that child, not into it in an argument, talk one on one for a real change.
Speaker B:Have those heart to heart one on one conversations with a child, you're more likely to do that than to stand up in front of a classroom and ridicule a child in front of a classroom or break or threaten a child in front of the entire class.
Speaker B:Which none of that stuff is good teaching where you're addressing now, you might have to redirect in a classroom or talk firmly.
Speaker B:But we're not going to get into this where we're in this.
Speaker B:We're not going to get in there.
Speaker B:I mean, we'll do a redirect or a redirect and a remind, but then we might need to pull that child aside and do some sort of heart to heart where we're talking with them with the child.
Speaker B:That's going to affect us.
Speaker B:So that's going to help us so much more because that leads into the next thing building the relationship.
Speaker B:The more students feel the, the more they feel seen, the more they feel valued, the less they will push back with defiance.
Speaker B:It's true.
Speaker B:The less they're going to push back with defiance.
Speaker B:If you build that relationship, I'm not saying it's going to fix everything.
Speaker B:I'm not saying it's going to make it perfect.
Speaker B:Where I see teachers go wrong in such a bad way with their class is arguing with kids.
Speaker B:Kids are going to try to pull us into power struggles, into arguments with them.
Speaker B:Make it a practice to not argue with kids.
Speaker B:I encourage you to write that down.
Speaker B:Don't argue with kids is not going to.
Speaker B:It's not going to help you.
Speaker B:It's not going to help them.
Speaker B:It's not going to help the classroom by sitting there arguing with kids about behavior and, or about actions.
Speaker B:And that, that is something where I think we as educators need to make it clear if we have a paraprofessional in our classroom that we kind of really make that clear that we're not Going to argue with kids.
Speaker B:And so that way a paraprofessional is reflecting kind of our thinking and beliefs.
Speaker B:It, it's so easy to argue with kids though, and, and, but nobody's winning in that.
Speaker B:And we're making a mess of our classroom if we're arguing with kids.
Speaker B:So easy to do.
Speaker B:But, but that's not, that's not going to serve us.
Speaker B:So now let's talk about students and their inappropriate actions, inappropriate behaviors, disrespect.
Speaker B:When it keeps happening, what do you do?
Speaker B:Well, we went through and we went through and we talked about some key things we could do.
Speaker B:But when it keeps happening, use some natural consequences, loss of privilege, a reset time, or even like a restorative type of a circle that can kind of unite the class back together or the group of individual students back together.
Speaker B:Here natural consequences are important.
Speaker B:And loss of privilege, not like privilege for like a long term.
Speaker B:Like let's say you have to do like a reteach with a student.
Speaker B:It might just be taking two minutes of a child's 15 minute recess to do a re practice.
Speaker B:So then you can get a child back to recess.
Speaker B:You don't need to take that whole recess away necessarily.
Speaker B:But I do want to encourage you that loss of privileges or a reset time of some sort, or that restorative circle, it can make a huge difference.
Speaker B:Also, document patterns so you know when to involve parents and support staff.
Speaker B:Document inappropriate behavior, kind of keep a track of what you're seeing and when you're seeing it and your struggles.
Speaker B:So it gives you an opportunity to talk, to talk to students and staff, even administrators.
Speaker B:I'd be really careful just kicking kids out of the classroom, but document and just be really careful not to just expect another adult to figure it out.
Speaker B:You'd be better off unless it's something that we have to escalate to.
Speaker B:Administrative.
Speaker B:If a kid's talking out, does that mean that kid needs to be kicked out of the classroom and sent to an administrator?
Speaker B:I would argue no.
Speaker B:I would argue it's going to make us as educators look weak where we can't handle our business as leading the class.
Speaker B:And of course, you know, there are circumstances, a lot of different variables to consider.
Speaker B:But as a rule we have to be really careful just kicking kids out of classroom.
Speaker B:But document those behaviors, keep a track of records and then that will kind of help you as you can kind of keep track of like, hey, what's going on here?
Speaker B:When is it happening?
Speaker B:How is it happening?
Speaker B:How long is it lasting?
Speaker B:And I know as like, I'm asking us to do just another thing.
Speaker B:Well, it's not another thing.
Speaker B:It's part of our job.
Speaker B:Like, we.
Speaker B:We have to have that classroom management.
Speaker B:We have to kind of keep track of what's.
Speaker B:What's going on in our classroom and manage that so that way we can have the most effective classroom environment that we possibly can.
Speaker B:And we want to.
Speaker B:I want to encourage you to keep your perspective.
Speaker B:One student's behavior or two or three students behavior.
Speaker B:It doesn't define our whole day or our whole class.
Speaker B:It doesn't define that for us.
Speaker B:It might feel like it can, because sometimes it can be overwhelming, right?
Speaker B:It absolutely can.
Speaker B:Can.
Speaker B:Can feel overwhelming.
Speaker B:But it doesn't.
Speaker B:It.
Speaker B:It doesn't define it for us.
Speaker B:It doesn't.
Speaker B:It's not a part of everything we do in our whole existence.
Speaker B:And so try to.
Speaker B:I want to encourage you to try to reframe that thinking.
Speaker B:I want to encourage you to try to.
Speaker B:I want to try to kind of keep.
Speaker B:Keep your perspective.
Speaker B:All right, so the next thing is.
Speaker B:Let's focus on.
Speaker B:Let's think about.
Speaker B:I want to provide some encouragement to you.
Speaker B:You're not alone.
Speaker B:Every classroom has tough moments.
Speaker B:Are there some classrooms that have tougher moments and others.
Speaker B:Absolutely.
Speaker B:That's just the name of the game.
Speaker B:Sometimes progress, y', all takes time.
Speaker B:Sometimes it can take not week or not days.
Speaker B:Sometimes it does not take days.
Speaker B:It takes weeks.
Speaker B:Sometimes it takes months.
Speaker B:Sometimes it's.
Speaker B:It can take.
Speaker B:You can have multiple.
Speaker B:I'm just thinking here about different things I faced over the years.
Speaker B:I mean, I've had behaviors that I've had to work through that have taken months to deal with months to deal with certain behaviors and challenges and kind of sort through some challenges in the classroom.
Speaker B:And it can feel very.
Speaker B:It can feel like it sucks your power away from you, but keep working at it because you're not alone.
Speaker B:And our students are counting on us to.
Speaker B:To kind of work through that and get it figured out for them.
Speaker B:It's hard.
Speaker B:It's not just a matter of, okay, I'm teaching.
Speaker B:I tell students to do something and they listen, and that's the bottom line.
Speaker B:And if they don't, they should fix it.
Speaker B:That is simplifying and minimizing classroom management in a way that it doesn't truly address.
Speaker B:It doesn't truly provide a good support answer for how we can work through challenging behaviors.
Speaker B:I also want to encourage you to celebrate small wins.
Speaker B:Maybe they had a calmer transition or a respectful answer, or maybe it was a Better day than yesterday.
Speaker B:Celebrate those small wins.
Speaker B:We have to celebrate those small wins.
Speaker B:Bottom line.
Speaker B:Tough behaviors will always show up.
Speaker B:But how we respond matters.
Speaker B:It does.
Speaker B:That's what matters the most, how we respond.
Speaker B:Stay calm.
Speaker B:I also want to encourage you to celebrate small wins.
Speaker B:Maybe they had a calmer transition or a respectful answer, or maybe it was a better day than yesterday.
Speaker B:Celebrate those small wins.
Speaker B:We have to celebrate those small wins.
Speaker B:Bottom line.
Speaker B:Tough behaviors will always show up.
Speaker B:But how we respond matters.
Speaker B:It does.
Speaker B:That's what matters the most, how we respond.
Speaker B:Stay calm.
Speaker B:Stay.
Speaker B:I want to encourage you to stay consistent and keep the relationship at the center.
Speaker B:Now, we know students may test us, but deep down, they're asking the same question.
Speaker B:Do you care about me?
Speaker B:That's what the students are asking.
Speaker B:Do you care about me?
Speaker B:Might not feel that way, but it is.
Speaker B:All right, well, we're going to bring this episode to a close.
Speaker B:I know that this is a topic that is tough for a lot of teachers.
Speaker B:I think it's tough for all teachers.
Speaker B:And it's a topic, too, that is prompting some educators to even leave the profession, which we don't want that.
Speaker B:Because if we have teachers leaving a profession, they're not helping kids.
Speaker B:We got a lot of great teachers out there.
Speaker B:And so I'm trying to.
Speaker B:I'm hoping to be a part of the change here to kind of help minimize the chance that educators are going to leave the profession.
Speaker B:It's not, you know, it's.
Speaker B:It's not an easy.
Speaker B:It's not an easy job and dealing with behaviors and challenging behaviors and some of that disrespect that.
Speaker B:That happens in our classroom, just, you name it, in terms of the behavior that is part of it.
Speaker B:But I think when we dig deeper into the layers, there's so much more to it.
Speaker B:There's so much more to understanding it before we can truly get to a spot where we can impact students in a successful way, especially if you're up against some of those challenging behaviors.
Speaker B:So I hope you found value in this episode.
Speaker B:So.
Speaker B:So we are going to wrap it up here.
Speaker B:Remember to inspire greatness in young people.
Speaker B:And don't forget to be a funky teacher.
Speaker B:Bye now.
Speaker A:He's Mr. Funky Teacher.
Speaker A:Yeah, he's Mr. Funky Teacher.
Speaker A:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
